Not a Computer Program
by nat-nav
Summary: "That was the thing in CAL, it was almost like a dream and you were never quite sure how you got somewhere, you were just there, in the middle of it." How do you differ reality from fantasy when the fantasy is creating memories that fit with the reality?


**It's really random, but I thought of it the other night and I just thought, WOW I have to write this. So here it is! :) x**

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><p>River was walking. It was a rare occurrence for the infamous River Song just to have a stroll, but in CAL there was no danger, no universe threatening disasters to solve, there was just existence and River didn't know how much more of it she could take. She had learnt that to take a simple stroll through CAL was difficult; she had to focus on the walk rather than the destination.<p>

That was the thing in CAL, it was almost like a dream and you were never quite sure how you got somewhere, you were just there, in the middle of it. You tried to think of how you got there, to a place or talking to a person and you wouldn't be able to say, it just happened. One minute your making the choice the next its happening.

She had to admit at first she was enjoying it, being in CAL. She got to be a mother, care for Charlotte and the other `children`. But there'd be moments and circumstances where she realised she wasn't real, that this place wasn't real and her `children` were nothing but programs. And it broke her hearts.

Now though, she didn't think of the `children`; she tried to keep a hold of what was reality and what was CAL, but she didn't know how long she could last like this. Everything that happened she was constantly sceptical of; CAL had created memories of her `children` for her, what else had she added.

She couldn't blame CAL for this; she was only a little girl and adding memories was part of the computers programming, but River yearned for some sort of distinguishing factor to be added to the memories, something that would tell her which memories were real and which were fake. Yet that was not to be.

River now realised that she had walked into a large meadow. She didn't remember thinking of such a place and this slightly scared her. Fear was what kept her on the brink of sanity within CAL. River may have been partially Timelord, but she was mostly human and the basic human fear of the unknown was ingrained into her as much as any other human being.

She looked at the meadow in front of her, it was in full bloom with bluebells lining the edges of the area, their bright blue colours flowed into the forest at the further end, its tall twisting trees reminding River of some sort of Wonderland. The sky had changed colour from its usual blue to a soft pink, the clouds now looking like clumps of candyfloss. River then realised that her shoes and socks had now been removed. The grass was not grass, she observed as she curled her toes into it; it was much too soft, too light to be grass.

All in all the landscape before her was beautiful, but it was alien. River knew that she had never seen a place such as this and probably never would in reality. So the big question was: who had seen it? Who was thinking of this place and who had wanted her to be here to see it?

She then heard someone walk up behind her. Without a second thought she whipped round to see who was following her. Her breathing hitched when she saw who it was.

Not once had she brought him here, not once had she tried vainly to let CAL crudely recreate him. She had missed him with both her hearts, but that was where he remained, in her hearts never in her head. If she had thought of him, for even just a moment, he would be there, the carbon copy, the computer program of the man she loved. At first she would probably love it; they could see the universe, well her universe. They could visit places they've been and do things River regretted that they hadn't done, and existence would be bliss.

But the obvious fact would be that it was a computer program, not the man she loved. If that moment had come, when she had to admit to herself that it was nothing but a program, nothing but her own fantasy... she would have asked CAL to delete her, permanently.

But that was not the case. He was here, not some figment of her imagination, not a computer program, him. And do you want to know the first thing she did when he was in arms reach. She slapped him.

He turned back to face her, one hand cradling his reddening face. "I may have deserved that." He admitted. She was crying now.  
>"You think." She strained to say and then pulled him close crashing their lips together. Her husband was more than willing to comply.<p> 


End file.
